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Require info regarding tamil school
Tue Sep 10, 2013 8:52 pm by Positivevibe
I just moved from Chennai, I am looking for admission for my 6 year old kid.
After my extensive search, understand that I can place my kid only in international school, as both of us are holding only professional visa.
Can someone suggest me, if there is any private or tamil school which will admit foreign national?
After my extensive search, understand that I can place my kid only in international school, as both of us are holding only professional visa.
Can someone suggest me, if there is any private or tamil school which will admit foreign national?
Comments: 0
Private Tuition
Sun Sep 21, 2008 1:59 am by VJeyaa
Do you send your kids to private tuition after school or do you teach them yourselves? What are the pros and cons of sending kids to private tuition after school? Is it an unnecessary burden for the kids or is it seen as much needed assistance for the kids in terms of education?
Comments: 13
Want yr children’s get straight AAA’s in exam?
Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:10 am by nimmi
SCORE A PROGRAMME
1.What is Score A Programme™?
Score A Programme™ is a fully interactive and effective programme to help students Be Exam Ready And Score A’s™.
2.What is "Input Learning™"?
"Input Learning™" is putting information into your "Neuron". Reading, studying, listening and memorizing are "Input Learning™". Too many students only carry out …
[ Full reading ]
1.What is Score A Programme™?
Score A Programme™ is a fully interactive and effective programme to help students Be Exam Ready And Score A’s™.
2.What is "Input Learning™"?
"Input Learning™" is putting information into your "Neuron". Reading, studying, listening and memorizing are "Input Learning™". Too many students only carry out …
[ Full reading ]
Comments: 16
NOW EVERYONE CAN STUDY
Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:30 pm by maskki
Dear All ;
Are you
1. Working in a private sector
2. No increment or cannot move to higher position because no paper qualifications
3. Having less than 3 credits in your SPM / MCE examination
4. Above 21 years of age
5. interested to continue your studies
WE HAVE A SOLUTION FOR YOU ...
Please browse our website www.riverbankacademy.com.my , you can find the solutions to your questions. …
[ Full reading ]
Are you
1. Working in a private sector
2. No increment or cannot move to higher position because no paper qualifications
3. Having less than 3 credits in your SPM / MCE examination
4. Above 21 years of age
5. interested to continue your studies
WE HAVE A SOLUTION FOR YOU ...
Please browse our website www.riverbankacademy.com.my , you can find the solutions to your questions. …
[ Full reading ]
Comments: 1
INDIAN YOUTH DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM - VOCATIONAL SKILLS CAREER CERTIFICATE PROGRAM BY OUM
Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:34 pm by maskki
Dear All ;
Hi , I'm Mahendran from RIVERBANK ACADEMY SDN BHD.
As you know we have established ourselves as centre for SKILLS LEARNING AND KNOWLEDGE DEVELOPMENT (SKILD) and it is located in Kajang. We are now embarking ourselves to be a full competency based education service provider. One of our latest project is with PKSM as training provider for their Empowerment program in Bentong.
We would …
[ Full reading ]
Hi , I'm Mahendran from RIVERBANK ACADEMY SDN BHD.
As you know we have established ourselves as centre for SKILLS LEARNING AND KNOWLEDGE DEVELOPMENT (SKILD) and it is located in Kajang. We are now embarking ourselves to be a full competency based education service provider. One of our latest project is with PKSM as training provider for their Empowerment program in Bentong.
We would …
[ Full reading ]
Comments: 0
Tamil School
Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:36 pm by VJeyaa
Lets discuss about the pros and cons about Tamil eductaion. Would you send your kids to the Tamil school and why you would or wouldnt?
Comments: 13
Mastering the Law of Attraction < Must not miss this>>
Wed Nov 12, 2008 2:28 pm by gowri
Vanakam nanbargaley,
Something which will benefit for our community . I have attended the first session and I find it useful and practical. It's all about our life ..our thoughts ..
I am sharing with you all ...if got time please attend .
Organised by Malaysia Hindu Sangam .
Title : Mastering the Law of Attraction To Succeed in Career and Entrepreneurship.
Date : 6th …
[ Full reading ]
Something which will benefit for our community . I have attended the first session and I find it useful and practical. It's all about our life ..our thoughts ..
I am sharing with you all ...if got time please attend .
Organised by Malaysia Hindu Sangam .
Title : Mastering the Law of Attraction To Succeed in Career and Entrepreneurship.
Date : 6th …
[ Full reading ]
Comments: 2
Bogus Universities & fake degrees
Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:07 pm by frags
A follow up to the discussion we started way back in the little india days. I found this one article dated Jan 2008 about the now famous International Irish University which i was following closely. It was quite an elaborate operation with graduation ceremonies etc.
Now the website is empty.
Source : http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/7175730.stm
[ Full reading ]
Now the website is empty.
Source : http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/7175730.stm
The IIU, which has 5,000 students …
[ Full reading ]
Comments: 14
Private School
Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:41 pm by VJeyaa
Can someone from the education line give me some pointers about private schooling? I have been thinking about this recently as my daughter has come of enrollment age to the primary school. My current considerations are:
1. Sekolah Sri Murni
2. Sekolah Sri Chempaka
3. Convent Bukit Nenas (my personal preference)
We are also thinking of registering to a nearby Govt school, as a "just in …
[ Full reading ]
1. Sekolah Sri Murni
2. Sekolah Sri Chempaka
3. Convent Bukit Nenas (my personal preference)
We are also thinking of registering to a nearby Govt school, as a "just in …
[ Full reading ]
Comments: 12
Simple Jokes
+8
Revam
yankee
rishi
mirugam
aPPLe
Kon_Roy
VJeyaa
Chello
12 posters
Page 3 of 5
Page 3 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Chello- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 619
Age : 32
Location : Deep Down in the Ocean
Registration date : 2008-08-16
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."
The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"
The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."
The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"
The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
pandai pandai
rishi- Forum Guru
- Number of posts : 1390
Location : lost
Registration date : 2008-08-26
Re: Simple Jokes
Profound Statements
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
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How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
Why Men Are Men and Women Are Women ...
Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in his bag so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.
He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you would like that."
When Adam saw it, he jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to have that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be have. Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy.
So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited. He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's the other thing and I guess you can have it."
"What's it called? Eve asked.
"Brains" God said.
Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in his bag so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.
He told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you would like that."
When Adam saw it, he jumped up and down and begged "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to have that. It seems just the sort of thing a man should be have. Please. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me." On and on he went like an excited little boy.
So Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he should have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee while standing up and he was so excited. He whizzed on the bark of a tree and then went off to write his name in the sand, laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him for a moment and then God said to Eve, "Well, here's the other thing and I guess you can have it."
"What's it called? Eve asked.
"Brains" God said.
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
Definitions By Gender
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
Men's Survey
A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night:
5% said it was to get a glass of water
12% said it was to go to the toilet
83% said it was to go home
A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night:
5% said it was to get a glass of water
12% said it was to go to the toilet
83% said it was to go home
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
The Geography of Women
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild, and naturally beautiful with bush land around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.
After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of a Man
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a ****.
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild, and naturally beautiful with bush land around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.
After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of a Man
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a ****.
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a Princess "Will you marry me?"
She said "No."
...And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and hunting and drank beer all day every day for the rest of his natural days.
THE END
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a Princess "Will you marry me?"
She said "No."
...And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and hunting and drank beer all day every day for the rest of his natural days.
THE END
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM.
1. Park the car....
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on.
1. Park the car....
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on.
Revam- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 838
Age : 49
Location : Garden of Happiness
Registration date : 2008-09-03
Re: Simple Jokes
I don't agree woman nowadays are these clumsy ... maybe it happen in 60's era when then only woman starts to drive work n so on .
~Anchal~- Member
- Number of posts : 329
Age : 43
Location : Inderalogam
Registration date : 2008-10-17
Re: Simple Jokes
women these days are more capable compared to yonder years....true.
VJeyaa- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 818
Location : The weight room...
Registration date : 2008-08-15
Re: Simple Jokes
a bit outdated yet funny
rishi- Forum Guru
- Number of posts : 1390
Location : lost
Registration date : 2008-08-26
Re: Simple Jokes
A Quality Engineer married an average girl…
After 2 years of tough life with her, finally the Engineer
got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
"YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIRMENTS".
The smart father-in-law replies,
"WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE"
After 2 years of tough life with her, finally the Engineer
got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
"YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIRMENTS".
The smart father-in-law replies,
"WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE"
~Anchal~- Member
- Number of posts : 329
Age : 43
Location : Inderalogam
Registration date : 2008-10-17
Re: Simple Jokes
best solution: replace with latest product and sell the old in garage sale~Anchal~ wrote:A Quality Engineer married an average girl…
After 2 years of tough life with her, finally the Engineer
got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
"YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIRMENTS".
The smart father-in-law replies,
"WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE"
my humble solution
blackmafia25- Junior Member
- Number of posts : 198
Location : Deepest part of HELL
Registration date : 2008-08-19
Re: Simple Jokes
~Anchal~ wrote:A Quality Engineer married an average girl…
After 2 years of tough life with her, finally the Engineer
got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
"YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIRMENTS".
The smart father-in-law replies,
"WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE"
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
2 Reasons Why I Should go to School
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
College Rules
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
The Teacher's Gift
It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box.
The teacher said, "I'll bet these are flowers!"
The girl replied, "How did you know?"
"Just a lucky guess," she said.
Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, "Just a lucky guess."
Finally, a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box's corners was damp from a leak. The teacher asked the boy if it was wine.
The boy said, "No."
She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy again said no.
Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box.
He said happily,"A puppy!"
It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box.
The teacher said, "I'll bet these are flowers!"
The girl replied, "How did you know?"
"Just a lucky guess," she said.
Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, "Just a lucky guess."
Finally, a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box's corners was damp from a leak. The teacher asked the boy if it was wine.
The boy said, "No."
She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy again said no.
Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box.
He said happily,"A puppy!"
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
aPPLe wrote:College Rules
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
super
rishi- Forum Guru
- Number of posts : 1390
Location : lost
Registration date : 2008-08-26
Re: Simple Jokes
Ugly Baby
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.
He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."
When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
His wife confessed, "Not this time."
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.
He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."
When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
His wife confessed, "Not this time."
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
Retired Husband
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.
Sincerely,
Mr. Wally Underpants
President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department.
MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints -
15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.
Sincerely,
Mr. Wally Underpants
President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department.
MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints -
15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
aPPLe- Senior Member
- Number of posts : 633
Location : Garden of Golden apples
Registration date : 2008-08-16
Re: Simple Jokes
uh, thats scary
rishi- Forum Guru
- Number of posts : 1390
Location : lost
Registration date : 2008-08-26
Re: Simple Jokes
POST RETIREMENT SINDROME
mirugam- Forum Guru
- Number of posts : 1799
Age : 51
Location : Amazon
Registration date : 2008-08-17
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